The Energy Vampire

Since I started going to college, a lot of weird things have happened to me. My life was pretty much dull in comparison to all the exciting adventures that me and my friends have had, and I suppose a lot of that has to do with the fact that we like going out at like three in the morning!

One day in particular stands out to me (though many are comparably as interesting), and this is a completely true story with as little exaggeration as is possible.

One day, two years ago, we were all eating at Filibertos, one of our favorite dining places (especially late at night), and there was a pretty big group of us. It had just barely turned Saint Patty's day. (To the right is an actual picture at Filibertos) Out of nowhere, this guy who had just ordered a burrito comes around the corner and says, "Fuck all you guys..." We were just talking and having a good time, and we all stopped and looked at this guy like "What?"

My friend Travis was like, "Excuse me?" And this strange man was like, "Oh, don't be so offended." He had some kind of irish/european accent. Looking at him, it was pretty obvious he was drunk, since he had seemingly pissed himself and had vomit on his t-shirt. But  we didn't really know what the hell this guy was all about. Travis was actually playing with his knife (sitting next to me). I wasn't really even taking him seriously and began bantering with the man. Then, he started saying all kinds of crazy stuff like:

"I'm draining your energy."

"Remember: take with left, give with the right."

and

"You're one of my kind."

All I know is that this guy was fuckin' seriously out of his mind. But he left without too much conflict after he got his burrito, leaving us with one final piece of advice which was "Don't worry about my fate, worry about yer own." And then he took his burrito and left.

We didn't see him for the longest time, but eventually my friends ran into him at Filibertos again and said he was completely different that time. His little "take with the left" thing got turned into an funny little handshake we would do with each other, and the energy vampire we met at the taco shop is still one of our favorite stories to tell.

--Koi